Quotes from The Trial of Emory Dick


Emory to Harrison: "Wait for me captain, would you?"

Miss Glass: "Is there anything you have to say to me?"
Emory: "I very much enjoyed your lecture on the pinworm."
Miss Glass: "Emory, you needed to do well on this test. Did you study for it?"
Emory: "Intensely sir."
Miss Glass: "Then how do you explain your grade?"
Emory: "I must've memorized the wrong chapter."
Miss Glass: "No, you memorized the wrong book. You realize I have no choice but to fail you for the semester."

Miss Glass: "If you'll excuse me I'd like to wash off the fomaldahyde before my mounds of venus start to shrivel."

Emory: "She's the one who's going to be sorry."

Nicole to Carmen: "Not all of us have a square shaped head."

Emory: "I'd like you to meet Mr. Wesley Chu, my attorney."

Emory: "He's agreed to take my case."
Sam: "What case?"
Lily: "I don't know."
Emory: "I am suing the school."

Principal Hall: "I've heard your commercials, Mr. Chu, and if you are not off my campus in five minutes you will have to have my cane surgically removed from your bowels."

Josh: "You all better get out of town before Sugar Daddy smacks down."

Principal Hall: "Miss Julian, when I speak to the organ grinder I do not expect the monkey to answer."

Carmen: "I don't want to have to choose. Please don't make me."
Vera Crups: "That kid's a walking shigger! He loves to torment me!"

Vera Crups: "Long enough to make me wish this spatula was a rusty knife! Ten minutes... maybe twenty."

Josh: "I don't remember the flushing part."
Sam: "Let me refresh your memory."

Sugar Daddy: "Dude, he just called you an ape!"
Josh: "Did you just call me an ape?!?"

Brooke: "Mr. Ford has defended this school's honor on the football field, the basketball court and a wrestling match. Your honor, why shouldn't he defend it in the men's room?"

Brooke: "Do you use the toilets in the boys locker room?"
Harrison: "Not for bathing."

April Tuna: "The next stall!"
May Tuna: "You serpent!"

Mary Cherry to Brooke: "Oh, well if it ain't Miss Atticus Fitch."

Brooke: "Drop it."

Harrison: "Forget it. Stay. Talk. I don't exist."

Sam: "You're obviously hurt."
Emory: "I'm not hurt. I'm disappointed. I can handle that. I'm used to that."

Brooke: "Sam, face it, okay, deep down everyone wants to be liked, okay, even your client. The sad thing is, is that Emory will probably end more alone than when he started this thing. I would hate to see the same thing happen to you."

Principal Hall to Sugar Daddy: "I'm afraid you're not going to be on the team this year."

Principal Hall: "The coach isn't going to use you because of your size."

Sugar Daddy: "I'm fat. I'm not disabled! I'm not disabled!"

Miss Glass: "This is about a lazy student who is unprepared and disruptive."

Miss Glass: "I don't think anyone deserves to have their hair styled in the latrine, but I can't make special rules for a kid who doesn't have the attention span to finish an Altoid."

Sugar Daddy: "What do you want to know? Yes. I stuck his snotty little face in the toilet. And I would do it again 'cause it made me feel good."

Sugar Daddy: "You think he's the only person around here who gets dumped on because of the way he looks? Do YOU? Well he's not!"

Carmen: "How's it goin' in here?"
Harrison: "I think your side's winning."
Carmen: "My side. How do you know which side I'm on?"
Harrison: "I don't. Do you?"
Carmen: "You know Harrison, from what I saw yesterday you're one to talk."

Lily: "I want to hear what she has to say."

Carmen: "He probably wants the attention, I mean, we all do."
Brooke: "Please disregard that last statement. Miss Ferrara's not the one on trial here."
Carmen: "Yes, I am, Brooke. I mean, we all are. Emory is not the first person to do something stupid at this school just to get people to notice him. Last month I spent an entire week eating nothing but grapefruits and just praying that I would wake up with my hip bones pressing against the front of my skirt... just like yours do. But then I realize, y'know, maybe I'm not supposed to look like that..."
Brooke: "The subject is Emory Dick, Miss Ferrara. What are you doing?"
Carmen: "I'm trying to figure out who I am and where I belong. And I am not afraid to be sitting at Emory's table, whether people think that he is a freak or not. I mean, these days if you're alone at lunch or wear too much black or fail two tests in a row they open an FBI file on you, they automatically assume you're dangerous, and... well, that's too bad 'cause I kind of envy Emory. He lives in his own universe and he doesn't care if anybody ever visits. Maybe that's what we should be paying attention to."

Carmen: "That's why I'm quitting the Glamazons."

Emory: "Look, when we started, you guys asked me what I wanted. I said justice, right?"
Lily: "No, actually you said Miss Glass's head on a stick."
Emory: "Close enough."

Emory: "I'm your hero."
Lily: "He is so weird."


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