#1 Timber!
#2 Baby, Don't Do It
#3 Citizen Shame
#4 The Sweetest Taboo
#5 Joe Loves Mary Cherry
#6 Style and Substance Abuse
#7 Ur-ine Trouble
#8 Misery Loathes Company
#9 Are You There God, It's Me, Ann-Margret?
#10 The Consequences of Falling
#11 Fire in the Hole
#12 The Shocking Possession of Harrison John
#13 Mary Charity
#14 The News of My Death Has Been Greatly Exaggerated
#15 It's Greek to Me
#16 Fag
#17 Coup
#18 The Brain Game
#19 I Know What You Did Last Spring Break!
#20 You Don't Tug on Superman's Cape...
#21 Promblems



#1 Timber!: Aired Friday, September 22, 2000

When Jane sees Brooke's mother, Kelly, kissing Mike, she moves out with Sam to a squalid motel. Sam tries to reunite Jane and Mike, but Brooke plots to get her biological parents back together. Brooke ends up decidigin to move to San Francisco with her mom. Nicole trades Mary Cherry a spot in the Glamazons for knee cartilege, but Mary Cherry cheats her. Nicole once again prevents Carmen from being a Glamazon, but when her knee gives out she loses her own spot to Carmen. Josh is disillusioned about relationships and dumps Brooke but then decides he wants to commit to their relationship. Bio-Glass is back, except now she's teaching chemistry and her new nickname is Claw because of her metal finger. Lily and Sugar Daddy start living in a 200-year-old tree where students traditionally carve their love to keep it from being chopped down by Claw.

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#2 Baby, Don't Do It: Aired Friday, September 29, 2000

Bobbi Glass gives all the students remarkably life-like dolls to teach them about "the burden of parenting." Mary Cherry and Nicole plot to rule the school after Brooke's impending departure to San Francisco, but are almost usurped by Emory Dick's vicious younger twin sisters, Emma and Emily. Carmen tries to enact social change by using her role as a Glamazon to invite all the losers to the first big party of the year, but in the process she neglects her baby doll and co-parent, Lily. Sam uses Brooke's doll to convince her not to leave town with her mother.

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#3 Citizen Shame: Aired Friday, October 6, 2000

Carmen moves into Sam and Jane's hotel room due to trouble at home, and hides a nasty bruise on her arm. She's talking about finding her own apartment, but when Jane finds out that Carmen's dad just left, she encourages Carmen to go home to her mother. Carmen is reluctant, but calls her mom, and we find out that he mother is the one who hit her, and her mother doesn't want her home. Bobbi Glass's rich Uncle Tipton comes to town and she bribes Nicole to pretend to be the child that she told him about. Lily wants in on the money to help Carmen out and so crashes the family lunch, pretending to be Bobbi Glass's other child. The lunch ends in disaster, and no one gets any money for their troubles. Brooke bonds with a new SAT training teacher and they go out for lunch including alcohol and older dates. The teacher drinks too much and Brooke has to drive her home, but she takes the wrong car by accident and gets arrested. Jane and Sam bail her out. Jane finds out she's pregnant.

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#4 The Sweetest Taboo: Aired Friday, October 13, 2000

When Nicole's attempt to seduce Principal Krupps in order to get back on the Glamazons fails, she recruits Mary Cherry and Sugar Daddy to help her produce a fake film that make Krupps look guilty of seducing her. Unfortunately, Krupps grills Nicole's partners in crime and they confess, getting Nicole banned from the Glamazons for the rest of the year and a one-week suspension. Josh's mother finally gets a job, as a guidance counselor at Kennedy High. She also meets Josh's young and cute football coach and they hit it off. Josh is not only stressed about his mother's blooming relationship, but about Kennedy High's new star football recruit, George Austin. Sam writes an article for the school newspaper on George Austin and, despite her prejudices against jocks, falls for him in the process.

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#5 Joe Loves Mary Cherry: Aired Friday, October 20, 2000

To save her own popularity, which now depends on Brooke since Nicole was kicked off the Glamazons, Nicole decides Brooke needs to break up with Josh and start dating George. When Nicole notices Harrison being jealous of Sam and George's fledgling relationship, she conspires with him to manipulate a study of attraction for chemistry class. Josh and Brooke break up and Josh and Lily find themselves attracted to each other when they help send a gay chimp back to his lover in Uganda. Harrison and Mary Cherry are paired up, and Harrison gains a new insight into Mary Cherry that makes him appreciate her a bit. Sam feels like George might be out of her league, and when he spends time with Brooke after her breakup with Josh, Sam assumes that Brooke has won yet again. Luckily, George tells Sam how he really feels about her and they share their first kiss. Jane finally tells Mike about her pregnancy and they kiss as well.

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#6 Style and Substance Abuse: Aired Friday, November 3, 2000

Brooke and April Tuna are running for student council president. Brooke asks Harrison to be her campaign manager, but after they disagree on the subject of mandatory drug testing for students, Harrison decides to run against her. Brooke, jealous of Josh and Lily, spies the happy new couple trying cough syrup together as a drug. Since a student recently died from a cough syrup overdose, Brooke decides to run on an anti-drug platform. At Lily's request, Harrison provides Josh with some urine to get past a football team drug test, but Josh gets busted for drug use anyway. Meanwhile, Nicole, Mary Cherry, Carmen and Sam are all nominated for homecoming queen. With encouragement from George, Sam gets into the competition, glamming herself up, but she gets a little more into it than George meant. Carmen teams up with Miss Bobbi Glass, who not only gives Carmen a place to live, but helps Carmen run her campaign to help alleviate her own leftover feelings of inadequacy from high school. Nicole and Mary Cherry find it hard to make themselves likeable enough and take a lesson in campaigning from Kennedy High's triple-crown homecoming queen alum, Hellacious Akers.

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#7 Ur-ine Trouble: Aired Friday, November 10, 2000

It turns out Harrison has been taking a lot of pain killers for bad headaches. Sam encourages him to go to a doctor and it turns out that he has leukemia. Brooke pulls out all the stops in her campaign for president and wins when Harrison withdraws from the race. Sam withdraws from the homecoming queen race and patches things up with George. Mary Cherry and Nicole team up with Hellacious to smear Carmen in the race for homecoming queen by publicizing her mother's alcoholism and labeling Carmen a teen alcoholic herself. Carmen and Bobbi Glass fight back, and Carmen moves back in with her mother to help her. When Carmen wins homecoming queen by a landslide, Hellacious tries to stuff the ballot box but gets busted by Principal Krupps and Bobbie Glass is only too happy to help out Krupps by taking Hellacious's pictures off the homecoming wall in the ladies room. Lily turns herself in after Josh is busted and they face their punishment for drug use together as a couple.

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#8 Misery Loathes Company: Aired Friday, November 17, 2000

Sam, looking for some extra cash to get an expensive gift for Harrison, responds to an ad for a memoir writer. She finds herself held hostage in the ladies' room at Kennedy High writing Mary Cherry's memoirs because Mary Cherry wants to get back at her mother for writing terrible things about her in her own book. Sam finally convinces Mary Cherry that she needs to reach out to her mother, not attack her. Harrison goes into the hospital for treatment for his leukemia. He hates his religious-freak of a roommate, Clarence, and is bitter about the whole experience. When he starts to feel really crappy from the chemo, he finally breaks down, gets a little bit of a sense of humor, and starts to bond with his roommate. Soon thereafter his roommate is whisked away with a medical emergency. Sugar checks into the clinic for eating disorders that Brooke went to for her bulimia. When Brooke's dad busts her relapsing, he checks her in as well... just in time to keep Sugar from checking himself out. Brooke and Sugar support each other with their problems, and Brooke tries to setup Sugar with one of the other patients.

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#9 Are You There God, It's Me, Ann-Margret?: Aired Friday, December 8, 2000

Carmen joins an Al-Ateen support groups because of her alcoholic mother and is surprised to see Nicole there. Carmen and Nicole actually do a little bonding until Carmen starts to feel used by Nicole for money. After a confrontation with her drunk mother in school, Carmen stands up to Nicole, and then Nicole admits that she only goes to Al-Ateen for the cute guy who runs it. However, at the next meeting, the cute guy has been replaced, and Nicole still sticks around. The new school play is Equus, and Josh and Lily stress when they are cast as the young lovers and have to do a nude scene. Lily tries to make her breasts bigger in a few days while Josh tries desperately to make his penis bigger. Sam thinks they're both being ridiculous, and since she's been cast as the psychiatrist in the play, she takes her role seriously and gets the fledgling couple to talk about their insecurities. Josh and Lily clear things up, and are all ready for the nude scene when Ms. Ross, the director of the play, tells them that they won't actually be naked since this is a high school play. During rehearsal the two of them end up getting naked anyway. Harrison, still in the hospital, hangs out with Brooke who's still in the eating disorder clinic. Clarence, Harrison's roommate, is wasting away in the ICU and Harrison isn't able to get into see him for more than a couple minutes. Harrison meets God, a beautiful red-haired woman, and begs for Clarence's life. Clarence miraculously gets better and takes Harrison and Brooke skate-boarding in the tunnels below the hospital.

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#10 The Consequences of Falling: Aired Friday, December 15, 2000

After his roommate, Clarence, suddenly dies, Harrison gets fed up with life and contemplates suicide. Clarence comes back as an angel to show Harrison what life would have been like without him. April Tuna runs an evil fish empire. Nicole and Mary Cherry are toothless whores and Sugar Daddy is their pimp. Lily and Josh had a child and got married at eighteen and then Josh became president of the US and accidentally blew up the world. Sam married a guy named Jimmy who beats her. Brooke died from her eating disorder. Carmen, having been taken under Nicole's wing after Brooke's death, is now a huge bitch. Harrison's mother runs a flophouse, Mike McQueen is in a sanatarium, Jane McPherson works in a bar, and Bobbi Glass is a cop. Harrison gets another chance at life and makes the most of it. Nicole finds out she's a bone marrow match for Harrison and decides to go through with the painful operation.

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#11 Fire in the Hole: Aired Friday, January 19, 2001

Bobbi Glass, for national STD week, writes a musical in which her students play various STDs. Sam decides she wants to lose her virginity to George but he wants to wait. She later finds out that he misled her, and he's not a virgin because he lost it in a drunken one-night stand during which he didn't use a condom. He passes a full panel of STD tests with flying colors, but then Sam decides she wants to wait. Josh also gets tested for STDs in anticipation of eventually doing it with Lily. Harrison, back in school and healthy, is tired of being a virgin, and when he can't find any girl at school to sleep with him he takes Josh and Sugar up on their offer of a prostitute. When Lily finds out, she offers to be his first, but he goes to the prostitute... and can't go through with it.

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#12 The Shocking Possession of Harrison John: Aired Friday, January 26, 2001

Harrison starts acting like Nicole, and Mary Cherry thinks he possessed. She convinces Harrison's friends to participate in an exorcism, but it's Sam who gets him to open up about how he feels different since cheating death, but he's frustrated that everyone treats him exactly the same. Sugar is feeling neglected by Josh since Josh is spending so much time with Lily. When George realizes that he doesn't really have any friends other than Sam he reaches out to Sugar and they end up new best friends. Sugar quickly overwhelms George with his demands as a friend, and George backs away, giving a jealous Josh the chance to win back his best friend and not take him for granted anymore. On Nicole's birthday, she finds out that her mother has been keeping the secret that she was adopted. Brooke takes Nicole to the trailer park where her biological mother lives, where they find out that the woman died six months ago.

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#13 Mary Charity: Aired Friday, February 2, 2001

Mary Cherry's mother goes through some financial difficulties and suddenly Mary Cherry is dirt poor. Lily tries to teach her how to recycle cans, get a job and have compassion for other poor people. Mary's mother's financial troubles are figured out, and she seems to go back to her old ways, but Lily catches the rich-again girl giving her furs away to a cold homeless child. With yearbook pictures around the corner, Sam and Carmen plot to give poor and ugly students make-overs to get more people to have their picture taken so that more people will buy the yearbook. They make their test-case April Tuna, who takes their overture as one of friendship and is disappointed when she realizes that she was just a guinea pig. Brooke realizes that Harrison is everything she's ever wanted in a man, and tells him that she'd like to start dating him. He is overjoyed, but they both quickly realize that he's in love with Sam, and his past infatuation with Brooke and the fact that he helps her feel good about herself isn't enough on which to base a relationship.

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#14 The News of My Death Has Been Greatly Exaggerated: Aired Friday, February 23, 2001

April Tuna's death in a tragic car accident makes everyone reconsider how they treated the school loser and their own life regrets. Lily feels bad that she refused April a menage a trois with her and Josh. The Glamazons feel bad that they refused April's request to be their new choreographer. Harrison admits to Sam that he loves her, but when he makes her choose between him and George she chooses George and loses a best friend. Nicole desperately searches for her biological mother and finds her in the form of a cafeteria worker in deep denial. Josh creates an uproar with his new mullet-styled hairdo, which Lily doesn't appreciate. It turns out that it was someone else driving April's car, and April herself is actually fine.

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#15 It's Greek to Me: Aired Friday, March 2, 2001

Brooke gets an invite to a college fraternity party and makes a complicated plan with Carmen, Sam and Lily to fool their parents and go. Lily and Sam get cut off at the parental pass and end up spending the night playing kiddy games and drinking hot chocolate. Brooke finds out that sorority girls aren't what they're cracked up to be, and meets a charming guy named Jamie. Carmen narrowly avoids being date raped. George, Josh and Harrison try to crash the party in toga outfits but are quickly disposed of by the fraternity brothers. Harrison tries to pick a fight with George but George doesn't fall for it. Nicole tries to get her mother, Judy, to acknowledge her biological mother, Shaggy. Judy is openly rude, and Nicole bonds quickly with Shaggy. Nicole suggests to Shaggy that she adopt Nicole formerly so that Nicole can get away from the horrible Judy. Shaggy ends up using this threat to try to extort money from Judy, and Nicole overhears the exchange as well as Shaggy admitting that she's not really Shaggy. Nicole stops the exchange and realizes that her adoptive mother loves her, even if she has a strange way of showing it sometimes.

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#16 Fag: Aired Friday, March 9, 2001

Lily stars a gay and lesbian support group at school, and is surprised when she gets very little support from her friends and her boyfriend. However, when Sugar experience employment discrimination because of his weight, he joins Lily's group. When Sam and George experience hatred because of their interracial relationship, they join Lily's group. When Carmen's new employer uses racial profiling, Carmen joins Lily's group. The college boy that Brooke met at the frat party hunts her down and they go out on a date. He admits to her that's he's Jewish and has experienced discrimination from fraternities and past girlfriends because of it. Brooke joins Lily's group. Lily tries to get a new kid, Bryan, that she thinks is gay to join the group, but he lashes out and secretly spray-paints "fag" on Lily's locker. Josh gets beat up by the captain of the baseball team for being associated with Lily. Lily gets everyone to promise to stop calling Miss Bobbi Glass "sir" and apologizes for doing it herself. Miss Glass admits that she's questioned her own sexuality, and Lily takes her to a gay and lesbian center to get more information. Leaving the center, Lily and Miss Glass get beat up by a bunch of guys. Miss Glass appreciates Lily's bravery, but won't be the faculty sponsor for Lily's group, so Lily's group gets cancelled by the school. Bryan offers to let the group meet at his house.

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#17 Coup: Aired Friday, March 16, 2001

Brooke gets grounded after she accidentally falls asleep and spends the night at Jamie's apartment. Her father then busts her at Jamie's apartment when she said she was going to be at the "big game," and forbids her to see Jamie at all anymore. Jamie considers breaking up with Brooke because her father is just too much to deal with. Jane stands up for Brooke and tells Mike that he's being a little too harsh, and Mike relents and invites Jamie over for dinner to get to know him better. Nicole creates an elaborate plan to trick April Tuna, become the new school president, and cancel the Glamazons as a school club, replacing them with the new and improved Pep Squad starring Nicole Julian herself. Josh and Harrison join Stayin' Alive, the John Travolta fan club at school, in order to make their college apps look better. When the presidency is up for grabs, they have a dance-off competition, and Lily gets into the fray in order to try to upset some of the male dominance in student clubs. Nicole, as new president and judge, gives the presidency to Josh, but then cancels the stupid club anyway.

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#18 The Brain Game: Aired Friday, April 27, 2001

Mary Cherry assembles a team of Nicole, Brooke and Sam to compete on a local academic-challenge program in hopes that she'll be discovered for her looks and personality. Cherry Cherry, who is devastated after getting turned down for a country club membership because she only scored 50 on her SATs, wants to join the team to prove her intelligence, but she competes for the last slot with Josh, who wants to prove to Lily that he's smart. Thanks to Josh's savant-like knowledge of chickens, not only does he beat out Cherry Cherry for the last slot on the team, but he brings the team to victory over a vengeful Cherry Cherry who assembles an adult team to compete on the high school show. Carmen decides to take salsa dancing lessons instead of the SATs and falls hard for her dance instructor's Spanish-speaking nephew.

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#19 I Know What You Did Last Spring Break!: Aired Friday, May 4, 2001

The Kennedy High students are quarantined at the school after Harrison shows symptoms of an exotic disease he may have contracted during his spring-break vacation in Yemen. A psycho killer stalks the students, but she turns out to be a disgruntled travel agent whose life was ruined when the Kennedy High students cancelled their spring break plans. It turns out that Brooke spent spring break in a hotel room with Harrison after catching Jamie with his ex-girlfriend. During the quarantine, Harrison and Sam share a kiss that George walks in on. Mary Cherry admits she spent spring break trying out for a role in a teen horror movie. Nicole blackmails Lily and Josh with the info of how they spent their spring break.

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#20 You Don't Tug on Superman's Cape...: Aired Friday, May 11, 2001

Sam tries to get back together with George, but he won't even talk to her. Sam and Brooke team up to get revenge on Harrison for playing with their emotions, but each ends up double-crossing the other to get Harrison for themselves. Jane goes into labor. Mary Cherry hits Big Bertha Muffin's car, and Big Bertha threatens to beat her up, but at the last minute super-bitch Nicole comes to her rescue. Josh's mother's new job requires them to move to another state. Josh considers moving in with his father, but his father's rules are far too restrictive. Instead, Josh and Lily get married at City Hall so that no one can tear them apart, even though Josh's mother strongly advises against it.

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#21 Promblems: Aired Friday, May 18, 2001

Brooke and Sam come together to help Jean give birth to their baby sister. Brooke and Sam revel in their new sisterhood and decide to both take Harrison to the prom. They realize, however, that they have to make Harrison choose, and when he chooses Sam, Brooke is devastated. Josh and Lily quickly realize that married life isn't all it's cracked up to be when they move into Bobbi Glass's basement and find themselves penniless and bickering. Mary Cherry meets her long-lost twin sister, B'Ho, who takes over her life. Mary Cherry is rescued by her long-lost father, a black transvestite named Sweet Honey Child. Nicole convinces George that they should go to the prom together to piss off Sam. Nicole taunts Sam who tells Brooke, and Brooke tells Nicole that she's going to ruin her prom plans. When George cancels at the last minute due to food poisoning, an angry Nicole gets drunk and chases after Brooke. Brooke stumbles into the street, crying from Harrison's rejection, and Nicole hits her with her car.

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